(insert heavy sigh)
Ok.....this is gonna be a long one.
I LOVE this time of year. I love the camp and horror of Halloween and I love the warmth and magic of Samhain. I love the colours, cider, hayrides, pumpkins, cookies, slasher flics and even the "Halloweentown" movies.
I love the parties....many parties....(oh my head!), and the trick or treaters.
And I love the costumes....but here is where things fall apart you see.
The costumes.
The problem I used to have with this was the constant "oh I love your costume" comments when I was dressed in my day to day wear, but years of working more physical jobs (moving fountains) led me to a jeans and t-shirt phase in my life. (Hey the shirts are still gothy gothy and horror dammit!)
Now a days I have another problem.
Cool costumes in the stores (even Halloween Adventure and other such seasonal gems) are made for teens and stick figures.
Seriously...people...come on now.
I have big ol double D ta tas and there is NO WAY I'm cramming those into a cool ass "Covenant: Dark Fairy" costume.
I'm not kidding! Every Halloween it's the same. I get really happy and excited for fall and Samhain and all...and then one of my lovely friends (tiny little things THEY are) who happens to be throwing a party says "and you're gonna wear a costume right?" and my little world just shatters.
For a few years I could get away with buying a cute velvet top hat with some lace, wearing my old gothier than thou clothes and saying I was a vampire. Tossing on some Pennsic / Rennie garb and going as a Gypsy, Pirate or plain old wench.
But I'm swiftly running out of options. My old garb (goth AND ren) is getting pretty beat up as well as seen too often.
Really cool costumes aren't cheap, but I might be prepared to pay the price for one that fits!!!!
Oh and don't go sayin Torrid or such...I went to Torrid. Cute clothes, but for a "large size version of Hot Topic" they have NONE of the cool clothes HT does!! But sadly HT's version of 'XL' is actually about an 'M'.
And as far as costumes go....EVEN theyseem to think flat chested. An 'XL' with 'A' cups is rare my friends!
Besides...they had 3 costumes....1. A shiny-vinyl nurse.....2. A shiny-vinyl cop...3. a shiny-vinyl gangster. (Ok so there's more online but still...)
WHAT!?!?!?!??!??!??!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?Let me just say.....as an 'XL' chick....I DON'T WANNA BE SHINY!!!!!!!!!
You put it on and people think it's shiny cause you're gonna blow!!! WTF?!?!?!
Skinny bitches designed these I swear!!
So....all that having been said......
Happy Samhain to you all,
And to those having Halloween parties next year.....I'm coming as ME bitches!!!
LMAO!!!!!
2 comments:
Oh, my...I feel you. I've been big for almost my entire life, and have had DD and up since I was 13. I'm so tired of the huge breastessessessessssssssssss! It wouldn't be so bad if we could just take them off for say...a long weekend once in a while.
Ooooh! That WOULD be nice!!! Or maybe just once a day to take the pressure off the back.....
Post a Comment